Wizard Sex is the mischievous, loud, rock and roll that dragged itself out of the East River after losing a knife fight with the blues.
To achieve Wizard Sex, use the following ingredients:
1. A shark’s tooth must be used as the guitar pick; a tarot deck must be used as the distortion pedal.
2. The singer/guitarist must be a musical heretic and polyglot. Possession, fire, feedback, and a hat should be part of his repertoire. Dmitry Wild is required to fill this role—no one else will work.
3. The drummer’s throne must be occupied by a quiet paradox or a maddening puzzle. As Josh Johnson is both, use him.
4. The bassist must be at least a Level 18 Sound Alchemist and must have access to the B-flat in the Perseus cluster. Lase Salgado is recommended.
5. A placid chameleon should be employed to play the sax—if he’s unsettlingly placid, the sound will be better. When sax isn’t used, said chameleon must play a guitar. This recipe suggests Michael Bottomley.
Place the ingredients in the same room. No need to mix or stir—just apply earplugs. Be sure to clean your jaw after picking it up off the floor.
- Mister Wednesday